Redbox Stage Fright

It's a Saturday night in Logan, which means there's a line of people at the Redbox. I actually don't mind standing in line. What I hate is being the person with a line of people behind me. The concept of the Redbox is that you have quick and easy access to DVD's. But for whatever reason, my experience at the Redbox is rarely quick or easy. About 80% of the time, the movie I intended to rent is out of stock. So I have to pick another one and while I am trying to read the paragraph of plot summary on unknown movies, I can feel eyes on the back of my head. I can hear toes tapping and kids whining and moms hating me for making them spend even an extra second in the store with their children.

The people behind me are thinking, "Sheeeeeesh, lady! Pick one already! It's not that hard."

I silently answer them "Oh, but it is! It is hard because you're making me neverous with you sighing and shifting your weight from foot to foot. And now I've forgotten the promo code I was going to use and I have to pay for this movie...but I also can't concentrate on which way the card goes when I swipe it! Gaaaagh! Why can't you back off? You wouldn't do this to a person at a Coke machine. You wouldn't stand too close or roll your eyes if they couldn't decide between Dr. Pepper or Sprite. Back off!!"

So, next time you're in line at the Redbox, have a little patience with the slow poke ahead of you. She probably had a long day too.

Oops. I'm a criminal.

Do you ever flip in to "auto-pilot"? You know, when you are doing something so routine that you don't even think about it? Your mind wanders and suddenly you have made it home from work, but you don't remember a single thing about the drive? Or you sit down to the computer to work on something important and ten seconds later you're on Facebook? Well, my absentmindedness could have gotten me in some big trouble tonight.

I noticed that my fuel light was on, so I went to Philips 66 to fill the tank. Then I drove about 2 blocks to Dollar Tree to pick up a few things (side note: I always seem to spend $20 more than I intended when I go there). Well, a car pulled up suspicously behind me. Like they were waiting for me. I told myself I was paranoid and they were probably waiting for the car next to me to pull out. Well, it did. But they didn't move. I figure, "Okay, weirdo here is creeping me out, but I'm only a dozen steps from the door, so I'll just walk in quickly to where it is well lit and there are plenty of witnesses. I stepped out of the car and somebody yelled, "HEY!" I turned around, not sure what to expect. The guy asked if I had just been at the gas station. I replied in the affirmative. My first thought was, "Oh man, did I do something stupid?!?" (the image below was what I feared most). I glanced quickly at my car and was relieved to find no dangling fuel pump nozzle.


He said, "I think you may have forgotten something because the cashier was trying to chase your car." I felt my pockets for my phone and my keys...then felt a little silly for having thought it could be my keys. Duh. I DROVE away. So, I thanked the stranger and called the gas station.

Me:"Hello...I was just there...in a white Hyundai...I..."
Attendant: "Oh, that was YOU?"
Me:"Uh...yeah. Is something wrong. Did I forget something?"
Attendant: "Yeah. You forgot to pay."
Me:" What?"
Attendant:"You drove off and didn't pay for your gas! I just called it into the police."


At this point, I had two thoughts:
1) Seriously? How is this possible? All pumps these days don't even function unless you first swipe your card or pay inside.
2) I always imagined if I were to be wanted by the police, it would be for something more impressive than petty theft.

So, I quickly returned to the store and explained myself to the attendant. He said that they are one of the few stations left that have not installed the "pre-autorization pumps" so this happens from time to time. I thought back and realized that I had the card in my hand, but never swiped it. I was thinking about half a dozen other things and just assumed I had because the pump did what it always does. I just wasn't thinking.
He promised to call the police and explain that I was not a thief, merely an idiot. But since I didn't think to STAY and hear the conversation with the cops, part of me wonders if he really did and it and if I'm going to get arrested on my way to work tomorrow. Well, if they try, I have my receipt to prove my innocence. I'm hanging onto that baby forever.